Today, I’m going back almost 10 years. I was 17, a senior in high school, living with my daddy, happy; scared and pregnant, all at the same time. Despite being scared, ridiculed and sometimes hopeless, I was preparing for my unborn child at an age where I, myself; was still a child. I suffered terrible morning sickness, was tired all the time and most days, I didn’t want to go to school. My friends we’re always by my side, making me laugh, watching movies with me and most importantly, supporting me. Throughout this time, there were those who didnt support me and the words: abortion and, “you’re too young” were often spoken. I can’t say I wasn’t confused and a bit selfish in my 17-year old thoughts. I knew going into motherhood was going to be a struggle, I knew I was going to graduate high school pregnant which added more to the unwanted thoughts.
Prior to getting pregnant, a dear friend of mine and I toured a college in Southern Missouri. We wanted to go. I wanted to get away, have new scenary and make memories from afar. Regardless of those plans not working out, she became a mother shortly after I did and we ended up attending a local college, together. As we carpooled, we shared in the daily struggles of homework, motherhood, single motherhood and working. She was one of my biggest supports. I love you Trish (bestie)!
So, here it is. A letter to my son: This letter has and will remain in he is babybook.
January 3, 2006
This is your mommy writing you!! I am 17 years old and a senior in high school. I grauate May 14, 2006. I took my first pregnancy test December 13 and then another one on the 14th and another one on the 2393rd and they all came out positive. I am ready for you and to be a mommy. I’ve already made you a blanket, the front of it has duckies and bubbles and the back of it has ABCS and words, it’s cute. I’ve slept with it a few times. I don’t know if you are a boy or a girl although, I have names picked out. I haven’t been to the doctor yet to find out anything but I’m ready!
Hey! I just got done doing my Algebra 2 homework. When you are in motherhood, you are going to have to take that class. Its hard in some ways and easy in others. I also sang the national anthem at the varsity basketball game tonight. I love to sing. Well baby, I’m going to start a new page for you! I love you.
To. Be. Continued!